22 April 2016
 Categories: , Blog

Many people think of marriage counseling as something you do only when your marriage is in real trouble, such as if you have considered divorce or one of the spouses has been unfaithful. However, there are other reasons to get counseling, whether you are currently having problems or not.

Counseling Helps You Communicate

Of the biggest issues in a marriage is ineffective communicating. Nobody ever taught you how to talk to your spouse—you just learned on your own. Unfortunately, this is what gets a lot of people in trouble at some point in their marriage. It can help to see a marriage counselor and learn the right ways of talking to your spouse. They can teach you how to be open and honest without being hurtful, to be assertive without playing the blame game. While arguments and disagreements are natural, it doesn't always have to end up in a screaming match, and it shouldn't. The counselor will work both spouses and look for your personal issues with communicating, then work to resolve them.

You Will Discover Your Spouse's Needs

Another reason to go to marriage counseling is because with the help of a good therapist, you will be able to learn exactly what your spouse's needs are. It can be difficult to express your wants and needs, even to your spouse. You may also be someone who doesn't even understand your own desires, needs, and motivations in everything from love and sex, to finances, career, family building, and more. Through marriage counseling, you learn about each other's needs, while also learning about your own. This can help the both of you navigate through the good and bad parts of your marriage while you work to fulfill your own and each other's needs in the process.

Your Spouse's Actions Make More Sense

Aside from your spouse's needs, you can also learn more about what their intentions and reasons are. For example, they might have made a big life-changing decision without consulting you or without further explaining their reasoning. It is possible that they weren't sure how to tell you about it, but during your counseling session, the counselor helps your spouse discuss the reasoning about why they made that choice. It might be anything from a large purchase to quitting their job and trying to find a career they were more passionate about.

If you decide to go to marriage counseling, make sure you make a list of unresolved issues that you want to discuss during the sessions. The therapist can work with you individually and together to get down to the bottom of those issues and try to come to a resolution.